Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

So here we are, a week on and into the month of May. How did THAT happen?

Phantom is fine. It is strange and I don't quite know how to describe how I feel about working there. If it were my first job in theatre I'd no doubt love it. The show really is phenomenal, there's no doubt of it. I am not tired of it yet as such, although am a little fed up already of waking up every morning with one of the songs in my head! They loiter pretty much all day too. Could be worse though!

The people are friendly... they are nice and have been very helpful, ensuring they jump in if I'm looking lost or confused.

The way things are run are quite confusing. It is odd doing essentially the same job as I was doing before but having everything organised so entirely differently. By this I mean where you go, how the breaks/sit ins are structured, the rota, the prices of things (annoying - no exact figures so my arithmatic really being tested!), the beginnings and ends of the shift etc. Am slowly getting the hang of it. First few shifts were supervised by a fantastically Italian man called Luigi, who is very sweet but wasn't the best as explaining how things worked, so I felt frustrated muddling through, never sure quite where I was supposed to be next. The thing is, I really like to feel good at what I'm doing; to be confident and competent. I am used to feeling all of this, to the point where I was trusted to take on extra responsibilities at the Gielgud and could still do a good job even only half-concentrating. I dislike the inbetween stage where I'm still learning.

So basically, it's all fine, I will learn, I will get used to it, I will get to know the people there better and I will eventually get over the magnetic properties of the songs to my head. I am learning some interesting insider things about the show itself and it can't be bad getting paid to watch an incredibly popular and successful show every night.

Yes, I'm clearly holding something back here. And the simple sad fact of the matter is that IT'S JUST NOT THE GIELGUD! That sounds pathetic, I know. But what we had at that theatre was so special. Of course it would be impossible to find again. But the thing is, doing a similar job in a different place is just highlighting the extreme differences between the two. And I don't think that even if I stayed for months it would ever fix the situation. I knew before leaving the Gielgud that I'd never find that again. Going to work there really was the highlight of my day, I am unashamed to admit. Now it's a bit of an effort again. I loved everyone who worked there; we had the best time together. There I felt happy and confident and popular; now I'm once again the slightly awkward newbie. I adored the show I worked on and felt equally comfortable talking to the backstage crew and actors as I did the front of house lot. Now it feels entirely segregated again.

I don't mean to whine, because I do appreciate I am still very lucky and still have a great job and I know things will improve in time. And sadly I know all good things have to come to an end. I just miss it, is all.

Thinking maybe I shall return after all in June - although of course it won't be quite the same as it was and maybe that will make things worse, maybe I should keep it as a good memory. Not sure, but it is forcing me into upping my game jobhunt wise. Front of house will never be as good as it was, thus it really is time now I looked elsewhere. Have applied for an internship I saw on the website James recommended to me (he's still keeping in touch, which is nice) and continuing to keep my eyes peeled.

In the meantime I'm still seeing the Gielgud lot. Last Friday we had a little reunion there as our supervisor is leaving for Cornwall. We had drinks in the stalls bar, just as we'd done on the last night of The Ladykillers and none of us wanted to leave! Seeing the vast empty stage up close was odd though.

This weekend I'm going on a mini-break with Ollie as it's a Bank Holiday. It'll be great to get away. Hoping to get some better weather, even though it's eastern Europe - so fed up of the deluge of rain that's been soaking England for the past 2 weeks!

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